Posted by Lance 
Category: If you’re a university student, similar to myself, who is out living on your own, looking after your own needs, and supporting yourself, you may find yourself in a dilemna that is not all uncommon for young adults in this part of the world – “What to EAT?” Unfortunately, although living on your own does grant some extent of parental freedom, you also lose out on the goodies – mainly, having your mom tuck you in at night and read you a bedtime story — oh — I mean, her home cooked meals!
But there’s HOPE! Your friendly neighbourhood super-blogger has a solution. Well, at least for one meal. I’m going to share a personal secret recipe, that I’ve kept secret for over 2000 years – my recipe for the greatest meal you will ever taste. This meal will have your tastebuds doing the tango for hours and hours. I will warn you – it does not immediately jump out to you as a gourmet dish, that you’d find in a high-class restaurant. But I strongly urge you to give it a chance.
Ok. Let’s start with the INGREDIENTS
First of all you’ll need the following:
1) An appetite for DESTRUCTION … ok not really. A normal appetite will do.
2) A can of tuna – I prefer “Solid White Tuna”, but I’ll let you choose.
3) A can of whole kernel corn, any brand will do
4) A pinch of salt
5) A picture of Seinfeld’s Kramer, just to look at when you make the meal. A frame/stand is optional, but the actual picture is crucial.
6) Frank’s Red Hot Sauce – cummon, you know me.
7) 1 Cup of Minute Rice
The Hannah Montana soundtrack, to play for setting the mood
9) Marble Cheese, or Medium Cheddar Cheese
Time for some Preparation.
Alright. So you have your ingredients, and Kramer is smiling down upon you. What now?
1) Well begin by pouring the corn into a small pot, with a can full of water, and bring to a slow boil. Let this cook for the duration of the preparation period
2) Bring 1 cup of water to a boil, then pour the rice in. Cover the pot to keep the steam in, and turn off the burner.
3) Open the can of tuna, spin around 3 times, then dump it onto a frying pan on medium heat (just to warm it up)
4) Now, once the rice is cooked, dump it on the frying pan as well
5) At this point, Miley Cyrus should be screaming out “I can almost see it, that dream I’m dreaming”. Well, you should be dreaming of my amazing meal. Because it will be a mountain, and you’re gonna want to make it move into your stomach.
6) Now that the rice and tuna are on the frying pan, shred some cheese (you decide how much) and dump that in as well… then pour some frank’s red hot sauce in with the rice to give it an orangish-red tint.
7) Now pour the corn on top of it all, mix it together, and serve.
BUT WAIT! It is crucial that when eating this meal, you are either watching an episode of LOST, Seinfeld, or The Office. This is not a meal that can be eaten in silence.
Oh. And a Red Bull would be a good addition.
And there you have it.
The greatest meal you will ever eat that consists of those ingredients. I don’t have a picture of the finished product, yet. So here’s Kramer.
Tags: Awesome, Corn, Food, Frank's Red Hot Sauce, Recipe, Seinfeld, Tuna —
